Pariah

I am conflicted.
I feel betrayed again, lied to.
Even though it's what I asked for, I can't help but feel the sting.
Don't bother trying to pry this out of me again.
You've lost your chance.
A double sided mirror.
I'm talking to you, who's talking to yourself.
My words travel through one ear and out the other.
Saturated with meaningless precursors.

And yet, I thrive on these interactions.
They keep me grounded, keep me interested in human trifles.
But I am so far from them all.
I have alienated myself for so long, I've forgotten how to come back.
I will sooner return to the ocean, from whence we all came,
Then delve back into that society.
I am a pariah,
A person at the edge of the world, looking in at it.
Wishing he could be a part of it.

But I am lost.
Don't bother talking to me about this,
It will shut itself away,
Sink back into it's shell.
It is the detritus, a thousand tiny pieces that have forgotten how to fit together,
And I look at them all, and see the beauty in the destruction.
Hate the anger of wanting.
And repell back into myself.
Forever alone, forever evolving, forever happy.
I am conflict by the world inside my head, and the one wrapped around my eyes.
I'm screaming underwater.

-Sir Jestro