Confessions of a Teenage Zombie [Chapter Nine]

We made our way out of his house, X lead the way.
He took my hand as we walked down the sidewalk.
"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to ignore him holding my hand, but I still kept my grip on his--as to not be rude.
He smiled and looked over to me.
"We're going to the fire station, they're bound to have an axe there."
"Wha!?" I asked, my jaw hanging low in disbelief.
"The fire station, they're bound to--" I cut him off.
"Yeah, I heard what you said, but...are you crazy!?" I screamed.
"A little bit." He smiled and then looked back at the sidewalk ahead of us. He let his head drop, so that now his chin rested on his chest. "It's just that...that it makes sense to me. That's one place that would have an axe, you know?"
I looked down at the sidewalk as we walked, trying to find what his eyes were so intently locked on. I saw nothing but grey concrete divided into squares, grass and weeds growing around them. I heard him take a deep breath, I glanced back up at his eyes. They were closed.
"It's been a long time..." He said, eyes still rolled into the back of his head. "...since I've had a..." He opened them and looked at me, with eyes as big as snow globes. "...a real friend, you know?"
There was a long pause. I was trying to find the right words to say.
"Umm...X?" I asked. "I'm not really your friend, I mean we just met, like ten minutes ago."
"I know." His lips cracked into a tiny smile. "But I just get the feeling it's going to blossom into something beautiful, don't you?"
"Do you mean like a flower?" I asked.
"Yeah, I guess." He replied.
"But I'm dead, X." I said, making the whole scene depressing. "I'm a walking corpse."
"Well, you do more than just walk." He chuckled, I couldn't help but smile. "And besides there's this one particular flower known as the corpse flower."
"Wait, so it's like a dead flower?" I asked.
"No, it just smells like a corpse. Flies carry the eggs around, making new corpse flowers, it's actually pretty interesting if you think about it."
"So rather than birds and bees, they use flies?" I asked.
"Exactly. It's just another approach at the same thing." He said as we turned left and headed onto the main road.
"You aren't talking about flowers anymore, are you?" I asked him as an old couple with a poodle walked past us, the poodle growling the whole time.
"You caught me." He said shrugging his shoulders.
"Then what are you talking about?"
"...You know...dating and um...stuff like that." He said, his head pressed against his chest again.
"So do you go into cemeteries and like, do it with the corpses?" I asked him, still holding his hand, by the way.
"What!? No!" He sounded shocked. "Hell no! I'd might as well fuck a blow-up doll. The best part of sex is the, you know, interaction between both parties." He said started blushing.
"I understand, X." I told him and then he stopped. "What's wrong?"
"We're here." He said. I turned to look and sure enough, we were standing in front of a big red building with the words "FIRE STATION" written on it.
"Are you sure?" I asked. He just laughed and lead me to the big open garage door. "Wait, what are you doing!?" I asked, stopping fast.
"Umm...going inside to get an axe." He said strangely confused.
"Are you going to steal one!?" I asked, my eyes wide.
"Well, yeah." He said it like it was obvious.
"But that's scary!" I was practically screaming. That's when X started laughing.
"What is so funny!?" I asked him.
"You're a flesh eating zombie, what do you have to be scared of?" He was still laughing.
"It's still breaking the law. And hey! I'd like not to get shot again today, if that could be at all possible."
"Alright, well then what do you purpose we do?" He asked.

"Um, excuse me. May I borrow your guys' axe for a minute?" I asked the guy at the front desk of the fire station.
"Sure, what for?" He asked as he rolled his chair back to the wall, where a bright red axe was hanging. I lifted my arm up and shrugged.
"Oh, I see." The guy chuckled. "How did you get chained up?"
"I'm uh...into kinky stuff." I said looking at the floor. The guy started laughing then.
"Hahaha! Alright then!" He stood up and walked around the desk to where X and I were standing. "You know, I wish I was as creative as you kids. I used to do all kinds of crazy things with my ex wife." Then his eyes stared up at the ceiling, like he was lost in thought. "Well, I could have used some of these tricks to keep that marriage going." He shook his head. "Well, whatever. Come on, place your hands over here."

"What a nice guy." I said to X as we walked back to his house.
"I still can't believe that really worked." He said shocked.
"Not everything is achieved by anger and going into a place guns a blazin'." My dad's personal motto.
"I guess you're right." He said as he slid his hand around mine, locking his fingers between mine. "I could learn a lot from you." He smiled.
"And I hope I can learn something from you too, X." I smiled. "But until then, do you think maybe we can go some place, I'm kind of hungry."
"Sure thing, where do you want to go?" He asked.
"My ex's house." I said.
"Sweet." X said.

-Sir Jestro