I didn't think the bright colors expressed the mood of most of my work, so I went back to the dark, it makes me think of the fall, autumn. It kind of cools me down, visually I mean.
So I need to vent here, and since I promised to only talk to one person about it, and she happens to be asleep at the moment, there's only one other thing I can do; blog.
My mind is conflicted, all my thoughts seem to go against each other.
I find myself liking her more and more each day, as more of the truth comes to surface. But I don't know if that's because I'm in that phase where everything she could do I'd like, blinded by affection, or is it's the real deal. And if it was the latter, I'm fucked--having next to no chance is very discouraging, especially when you can see possibilities; however unrealistic they may be.
...Okay, this isn't making any sense. I've got it, I'll start writing my newest idea; which currently has no title or ending--but if I think on it for a few days it'll come. That way there shouldn't be any misunderstandings for you, Liz. I'll show you just what I do when I write, and what keeps me awake at night--oh, god I sound so pathetic.
I might not write the idea now, it almost seems pointless.
But she has a right to know, and I'll have that freedom to talk fully without worrying about what she might say. But if it all means nothinh I could be using those efforts on another story.
I'm so conflicted.
-Sir Jestro
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