Bitch

I know I'm going to break my record of 55 posts in a single month, but does it really count? I mean this month has been a lot more non-story posts, and very depressing poems. Where as May was mainly stories. You decide. I have a good feeling about August though, not only will my best friend be in a super duper uber awesome good mood because the special edition "Breaking Dawn" [Part four of the Twilight saga, for those of you who don't know] comes out on the 4th, which I believe is a Tuesday, and is also my father's 39th birthday.
I yelled at an old lady today, she was a fucking bitch.
"Do you take foodstamps!?" She yells upon entering my store, I'm covering Thanh's break.
"Yup!" I say as I set the black and red security caps into the tote [however it's spelled] where we collect them.
"Is that a yes!?" She screams. I stand up to face her.
"Yes, it's a yes!" I say.
"Where's the ice cream!?" She screams, already her voice is irritating me.
"Aisle One, over there." And I motion to where it is. Then she waddles off to the pharmacy. That's when some other woman walks up to the front.
"What a rude lady." She says, I chuckle. I'm already feeling depressed because I got into--not really a fight, but an unpleasant discussion with my best friend and said some stuff I instantly regretted.
So a few minutes go by, and there's a huge line, so big it takes all three of us closers, Tina, Thanh and I to work on it. And lucky me, I get angry foodstamps lady. First of all, she's one of those customers that just talks, and doesn't listen to a word you say, as if you aren't important to them. So she wants to split her items into two orders; one being solely the ice cream and the other being a sangria, some cigarettes and an eyeliner pencil. Cheap people annoy me. This woman had to scan every single cigarette, walking into Thanh's line [register two] through the people standing there, all to lean her little head over and squint for some magical cigarette to appear. What's the point in asking someone which the cheapest cigarettes are when you're just going to tell them somewhere else sells another brand for cheaper.
"But ma'am we don't sell GDPs." Or whatever the hell brand she said.
After a two minute ordeal of price checking we decided on Basic 100 Full Flavor. That was another thing, they HAD to be 100s.
"Gimmie Pail Mail [said it pail mail, it's spelled PALL MALL] full flavor 100s."
"We're all out."
"What kind of place doesn't have 100s?"
"A place that gets their shipment in tomorrow." I said, starting to feel like Liz, my most cherished friend in the world.
"What about blah blah blah!!!"
So after the cigarette ordeal, or five Thanh transactions, I scan up her items. I tell her the price and she pays me, only to start bitching AFTER the transaction is over that the price of the sangria she bought was wrong.
Why the fuck do people wait until after they paid me!? Your money must not be that important if you don't even check before spending it.
I tell her we have no control over alcohol and liquor prices.
"Well, it says back there that it's two for ten, and you charged me 8.99!" Yeah, lady because if I overcharge you the money goes to me. No, you fucking twat I get written up if I have too much money in my register!
"Show me." I say, already knowing it's a case of mistaken identity. I know there's not a cheaper CVS brand sitting right next to it, so I assume it's just not in the right place.
We walk over to where it is and not only is it the wrong item but the tag hadn't been pulled.
"This isn't what you bought, lady. And this says it expired."
"Well, that's false advertisement, you NEED to give me the sale price, I'm the customer, I'm ALWAYS right!" Ooooohh! Even if I weren't already in a depressingly angry mood that, that right there would have pissed me off. In no situation is anyone allowed to be that self-centered and those types of people literally drive me to the brink of destruction. As I walk down the aisles, back to my register, she's still screaming the same thing, only in different ways. So I break and scream back, still walking mind you.
"We can't sell you something you didn't buy, Ma'am! It's not my fault you grabbed the wrong thing!" Then I take her items and set them on Tina's register with no further words. All the regulars in line look at me like they want to cry, they've all never seen Pagliacci cry before, he's what brings joy into their lives.
But after shouting at her in a way that resembled Elizabeth much more than I care to admit, I felt oddly at ease, and then I understood why Liz was always such a bitch; because sometimes it just feels good.
Then I went on my break and wanted to tell her the story, but she was falling asleep and probably still upset with me, and possibly slightly confused at my sudden change in mood. But I think she'll enjoy this post much more than any phone call or conversation of me telling it.
Shit, it's three am. I have a feeling she won't text me, but I'll get some rest just in case she does. A best friend should always answer texts or calls, even if they're kind of asleep.
^_^


-Sir Jestro