Two Sides of the Same Coin [a rant that no one important will ever read]

Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
Or go some place that you knew you couldn't ever really go?
What about telling someone how you really felt about them?

Have you ever wanted to tell someone just how much you hated them, and then with that weight off of your chest, you could continue your life, go back to reality and do as all American human beings do, conform.
Have you ever been so angry you wanted to kill someone, but you were too afraid of the consequences? If you could just get all of your anger out by killing someone who wasn't real, you could go back to the world.
Have you ever wanted to tell someone you were falling in love with them and you had no fucking idea why? Have you ever invented an alter ego for that person so you could tell them all the things you want to say, because you know the real one would just piss and moan and blow things out of proportions.

I've killed people, in my head.
I've made a countless jokes about hundreds of people, in my head.
I've confessed my unyielding love to an imaginary girl, in my head.

I invented a faux autobiography as to not ruin friendships and to live. To be in love, not with a person but an idea. To be in love with writing.
It wasn't about the girl I invented, it was about the act of writing. I had an audience, an eager audience, wanting me to produce, and so I did.
But my mouth is my greatest gift, and greatest weapon.

You kill in your head, to not kill a real person. So I loved in my head, so I wouldn't ruin a friendship I held so dear. But no matter what I did, I always seemed to unknowingly do something to fuck things up.
Fuck this, I know I'm just a fly in love with a human. I don't compare, I'm not even registered, but who gives a damn? It was fun while it lasted.

Sorry, Liz.
Sorry, god.
Sorry, Carrios.
Sorry, Bree.
Sorry, Ben.
Sorry, Tina.
Sorry, Kendra.
Sorry, Jose.
Sorry, Raven.
Sorry, Carrios' friend who has a man crush on me.
Sorry, anyone who reads this shit.

But I'm going to begin my masterpiece, then I'll have nothing left to do.
Hurray for all endings!

Goodnight, let those bed bugs eat the shit out of you.

-Sir Jestro