Customer Service:The Slow Downfall of Happiness [Chapter Five]

"The Crow made me believe in love." The Funkmaster Jared told me. "The book, not the movies."
I agreed with him, the graphic novel was and is a masterpiece, something so far beyond what most people will ever do. But that's not the kind of Crow I'm talking about, I'm talking about the red headed manager we got to run our store after our first store manager had to leave due to health reasons. The rumors began.
"I heard one of her lungs collapsed!"
"I heard she had a mental breakdown!"
"I heard she was abducted by aliens and they made her fuck a chicken!"

A game of telephone gone horrible awry.
After the first store manager left we couldn't hold onto managers to save our lives. I'd come in and somebody new would be telling me they were my new boss.
"Okay." I would say with a shrug, and go back about my business. Every manager that would come to the store, at first they would be so full of life, but after about two weeks, their hair would be turning grey at the roots and wrinkles would be forming around their eyes, they were tremble uncontrollably.
Stress ages you faster.
I wrote a song in high school, in my first band, TTP, called MASTER!!!!111. The song was about the ultimate stress reliever, masturbation. That was our most popular song, it was the sing along song. Hahaha! I still recall old drunk bikers with their handle bar mustaches screaming "BATING!" as I threw the microphone out to the crowd. Those were the good old days, before the stress of work, before the economy took a shit and it landed right on all of us. That was before I lost my V-card at the movie theaters while watching 'Kickin' it old school'. I still have no idea what that movie's about. This was before Carrios and Kim Je-Min left for the Navy and came back...changed. Yeah, these were those carefree days.
Now, its just work, work, work. But one thing hasn't changed, the gossip.
Crow comes to the store and works for probably close to a week before I meet her, she opens and I'm always closing. I met her on a Friday, when I came in around 2ish to get my paycheck, and I still recall Bella's warning.
"We have a new sore manager, she's young!"
"How young?" I asked.
"Like 23."
"FUCK!" I said. It all made sense.
"She's married, leave her alone!" Bella screamed at me. Then the memory dissipated like smoke. I was intrigued by this description of our new manager, but ever still, my gaze had never left the 8.9 Bella.
Grading Scale: A lecture for another time class. And if you would like to join us on page 23, Mrs. Crow would you please read?
"You must be, Ryan?" She asked as I walked towards the office door, she's short and has red hair.
"How did you guess?" I asked shocked.
"Well, you're the only one I haven't met yet and they mentioned your hair."

Its like whoosh! and wah!. Followed by one hand going downwards from the left temple of the head the their left shoulder, and the other hand resting just above the right ear, all fingers extending, making what looks like a the feathers of a peacock.
Yes, the adjectives to describe my hair have been replaced by onomonopeias and hand gestures, oh how the world makes me smile.

"Oh, yeah. Well, my hair does make me stand out." I said.
"Hi, I'm Crow." She put her hand out. I reluctantly grasped it and shook it. Its always so strange to shake a woman's hand. When men shake hands the degree on how firm they squeeze dictates how strong they are, therefore translating to how manly they are and how much respect they deserve. I was taught at a young age to make the hand shake firm, not to overcompensate. When a man greets a woman its the finger shake. The shake in which all the man grasp is the woman's fingers, leaving her ring pointed to the sky and the man's eyes, showing him she's taken. These were the customary rituals of greeting I learned throughout my upbringing.
"Hello, I'm Ryan, The Great." I said to her, and she laughed. "May I get my check, please?"
"Sure, follow me!" She said.
FAST FORWARD SELECTOR!
"Dude, Bella!" I say to her as I walk to leave the store. "I think Crow totally wants my body!"
"Shut up, she's married!" Bella yells at me.
"That's never stopped anyone before!" I said, my voice getting louder to match hers.
"You say that about everyone that works here!" She's screaming now.
"Am I wrong?" I ask with a smile.
"Whoa!" She screams. "You need to stop yelling at me."
"I'm not yelling!" I say.
"Kay, bye!" She says and walks away, clearly upset by my joke. I walk out of the store saying goodbye to Tawnya, and blowing her a kiss, she blushes and looks away. Walking into the parking lot, towards my car, I can't help but feel like Bella's jealous. Now what would cause her to be jealous?
I don't mess around with married girls.
Or practically married girls.
And Crow's not even my type!
Finally, I'm not THAT horny to risk losing my job getting it on with the new store manager, however interesting of a story that would be.
I started my car, Jaguar Love playing loudly, and left the parking lot.
"Geeze, sometimes Bella makes me feel like the devil." I think to myself and remember this one time in high school...

-Sir Jestro