Customer Service:The Slow Downfall of Happiness [Chapter Eighteen]

This one time I fucked Bella in a church, on the pews.
That's the kind of crazy sex we used to have. The two of us were evenly matched, I thought. It was always a fear of mine [before the two of us actually became an item] that Bella would be just another dead body. Meaning, in the sack [having sex] she would just lie there, on her back - with her legs spread open. That thought always made me a little afraid of any type of pursuit. With a body like hers, quite possibly perfect [at least for now, so I thought] it would be almost a sin for her to be a dead body.
But she was not...oh boy was she the opposite alright.
The best part of our relationship [this was even back when we were friends, and I think it might have been a primary reason I wanted to be with her - and she with me.] was the fact that she listened when I talked. She wanted to see the world that I saw. She didn't seem too adventurous with her last relationship, so it felt like she exploded when we began ours.
Constantly she'd have me surprise her with a date, every week I'd have to come up with something amazing for her. I loved the challenge, more for myself. It was as if I was too afraid to live for myself, and she didn't have to ideas. I was the plan and she was the driving force, so we were a great match.
I remember one day, we were eating at some fast food restaurant and I asked her,
"If the world were to end in eleven days, what would you do?"
She didn't respond all too much, in fact her only response was,
"I'd quit CVC." Followed by a laugh.
She had a look on her face that told me,
"I'd probably have sex wit you, Ryan."
That look, her pause, made me very happy. I could tell quite often how and what Bella was feeling [to some extent] without her telling me. The chemicals she'd release, the pheromones she'd send off must have been my exact fragrance. Even still, I always loved it when she'd be honest with me.
I was an open book to her, by choice - of course. I knew that I could shut my mouth, and close the book [so to speak] but I didn't, I felt that the reason she'd always ask was because she was interested. Her interest was something I didn't start with having, so I often felt that it would be lost if I didn't take caution.
I would answer any of her questions as best and as honestly as I could. But she, on the other hand, was a closed book. If I asked anything a little too personal, she'd shut up and I'd be left feeling stupid. Sometimes Id just like her to answer me, one hundred percent. But I had a feeling back then that she must have felt that she was already becoming too close to me, and opening up and confiding in me would make us much much more than friends.
But at that time that was bad, the two of us being more than friends - I mean she was in a relationship with Mathew still. Day to day, it felt like we were becoming more than friends - it felt like I was stepping into the shoes of her boyfriend. Even if I wasn't really trying to do so.
She was becoming the best girlfriend I had ever had, minus the whole sex part. I often felt that the physical becomes the foundation of my demise. So being able to see and not touch might have been what made me want her more and more. It was as if she was trying to test me, test my inner strength. But I probably did the same thing to her, first of all not knowing what it was about me that attracted her to me. Then the two of us becoming such close friends, probably made things more difficult for her than for me. It was as if she almost wanted to be with me but was too afraid of breaking up with Mathew. I wouldn't ever ask her to do such a thing, but it did seem odd that at the beginning of our friendship, before we were really friends, she was so angry. So covered up, and isolated [as a way of showing faithfulness to Mathew] it was actually quite annoying. But as our friendship progressed, and for whatever reason, she felt more comfortable with me [I always wanted her to tell me how I made such an impact on her] she started to act more and more like a girlfriend.
It might have also been the chemistry between us, that other people started to pick up on, or it was all in m head and I was 23ing the whole thing, Bella never talked to me enough for me to really know. It was flattering, however, to be considered on her level.
I digress.
I took her to a mystery dinner theater, then an art exhibit, then the observatory again as a couple, then we went to a few concerts together, and so on and so on. She was always ready for an adventure, and I loved that about her, like when I asked her if she wanted to go to Amoeba Records by train and spend the day in LA. She agreed. Or when I suggested going to Oceanside by train and spending the day at the beach.
I wouldn't mind spending everyday at the beach with Bella.

-Sir Jestro