Confessions of a Teenage Zombie [Chapter Seven]

I was so pissed that that bitch Sam left me chained up to her wall. I pushed myself forward, pulling the chains with my arms. But nothing.
I was stuck to that brick wall.
I started to cry, but no tears came out... at least they weren't that salty water people cry. It was more like a reddish goop, as if I was crying blood. Like I was crying out the blood of that cute little piggy, and that cat, and that crazy stalker ex-boyfriend.
That idea made me angry. It's like I've become closer to life than humans. Like I can connect to living creatures better than they can, and they call me a monster.
With this new found anger I pulled myself against the wall again, this time...very slowly, I managed to pull myself out of the wall. First it was my left arm, that came ripping out of the wall [still chained around the wrist] and then my right one.
I felt like that guy from my dad's favorite movie "Villain's and Vigilante's" with the chains draping from my wrists, dragging on the ground.
I ran up the stairs, up to the door. I broke through it with my shoulder. It went flying in shards, across the kitchen. I looked around in a panic, there was no one there. I did, however, hear sounds of rushing feet coming from the hallway. A flood of armored men came pouring into the kitchen.
"Target confirmed. Pulse less is active." One shouted, they all stopped and lifted their guns towards me.
"Pulse less?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.
"One without a pulse." One of then said, although I couldn't tell because they all wore helmets.
"Well, I do have a pulse...I mean sometimes." I said.
"Really? You do?" Another said, and lowered his gun.
"Raise your weapon solder!" A different one shouted.
"But Captain, she says she has a pulse!" The one with his gun lowered said.
"Sometimes! Is what she said!" The Captain shouted, although I didn't know who that was.
"How do we know if she has a pulse right now?" One said from the crowd.
"Murphey has a point, if she has a pulse right now, then its practically murder, but if she doesn't..." The first solder said. "...then it should be fine, right?"
"I guess you're right, Rodriguez." The Captain said. "Go and check her pulse." He ordered.
"What? Why me?" He asked.
"It was your idea to halt the orders in the first place! We can all get in a shit load of trouble for this!" One of them shouted from the crowd.
"Alright, fine! I'll do it!" Rodriguez shouted and walked over to me. He held his arms out, like I was a giant tiger or something. "Okay, now. I'm just going to check your pulse, alright?"
"Okay." I said, calmly. He walked up and put his hands around my wrists, trying to adjust them so he could check my pulse.
"What's the hold up, Rodriguez!?" One of them shouted.
"I can't get to her wrists, she's got these chains around them!" He shouted back.
"Why would she have chains around her wrists if she wasn't a zombie? Huh?" A voice shouted from the crowd.
"There are a ton of reasons, Ball. Maybe she's into kinky stuff, or maybe the person who chained her up is some kind of wacko? And the term 'Zombie' is politically incorrect, you know this!" The Captain said.
"So you're uh..." Rodriguez said to me. "...into kinky stuff?"
"No, not really." I said. "But I did hang myself this one time."
"Oh, that sounds pretty hot." He said, I could see his eyes through his helmet kept glancing down at my chest [it was not a good day to wear a tank top, I guess]
"I guess." I said.
"Rodriguez! Just check the pulse on her neck, fuckin' idiot!" A voice said.
"Hold your tongue, solder!" The Captain screamed.
"Okay. Hey, I'm going to check your neck, kay?" He said to me.
"Alright." I said with a smile. When his warm fingers [that he took out of the black gloves he was wearing] touched my cold skin, he freaked out. A shiver went through his body. He held his fingers to my neck for a few moments and then jumped back.
"She has no pulse! She has no pulse!" He screamed.
"FIRE!!!!" The Captain screamed, and all of them raised their weapons again. I ran into the dinning room, heading for a set of glass doors at the end of it. I ran as fast as I could and just before I reached the doors, they shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. I felt the bullets fly through my stomach and shoulders, but I didn't feel any sort of pain. It was like running cold water on a latex glove covered hand.
I ran through the rain of glass and into the backyard. Thank Jesus it was a small backyard.
I ran through the nicely kept gardens and jumped over the back wall. I could hear the sporadic firing of the guns as I looked around the new backyard I had fallen into. It looked like a symmetrical image of the one I had just jumped out of. I ran towards the glass doors. I looked over my shoulder and saw a dozen armored men crawling sluggishly over the wall. I broke through the glass doors and fell into the new dinning room.
I jumped to my feet and ran down a hallway, trying to find th front door, when suddenly I was knocked into a closet. It was dark and smelled like old people. I heard a stampede of footsteps running towards me. Then I heard an unfamiliar voice scream.
"She went outside! Into that house over there!" And the stampede left the house and the from door slammed behind them.
Then the closet door open and a cute Gothic looking boy stood in front of me and said,
"Why, hello there."

-Sir Jestro