"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard." Ω whispers in the ear of an intoxicated young woman sitting next to him in a shitty hole-in-the-wall bar on the corner of Nothing rd. and Ghost st.
"I'm a lesbian. How many times do I have to say that to you?" She replies, her words slurred together in sloppy succession.
"It's just sex baby!" He says to her. She thinks to herself, one eye flickering.
"Well, if it's just sex then..."
"Fuck yeah! Gonna lose that V-card!" Ω screams in unrivaled joy. He jumps to his feet and takes her by the wrist. He leads her outside.
"Okay, I'm ready." She says placing both her hands on the hood of his car and slightly lifting one of her legs, trying to make her ass more appealing. Ω walks up and slides her underwear down to her ankles and lifts her jean skirt up. Then he begins.
As he slams into the intoxicated lesbian her breath begins to fog up the exterior of his windshield. Ω glances at the glass and sees his name written on it. He looks more intently at the windshield, as more of the message is revealed.
"Ω, Epic Win!
-[SJ]"
DJ Machete doesn't play The Jonas Brothers, but instead plays "Metamorphosis: Metamorphosis One" by Philip Glass. Some things change, some don't. Our three heroes have been torn apart, [Sir_Jestro] is dead. He lies six feet underground, buried beneath a bouquet of pink orchids. **SuPeRfUcKiNgStAr** sits on her bed, taking a break from reading "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" a book given to her by none other than the deceased [Jestro]. She sits up and walks out of her room, as she progresses to the kitchen to eat some left over Alberto's she got the night before she sees her sister sitting on the living room couch, watching TV.
"What're you watching?" She asks.
"Don't worry about it." Her sister replies.
"ZOMG, Summer! Why're you so ugly?" She asks.
"You're fuckin' mom's ugly!" Her sister replies.
**SuPeRfUcKiNgStAr** sits down next to her sister. The news reporter, who bears an uncanny resemblance to **SuPeRfUcKiNgStAr** speaks.
"Yes, that's right Tom. Someone broke into The Pompey City Marjorie Oleary Memorial Cemetery. They tore up only one grave, who's name will not be released at this time. They also devastatingly destroyed nearly every tombstone in the cemetery. Officials are calling it an act of passion and urge residents to remain calm. The assailant will be apprehended. This is Bella Hernandez on Channel 3, ATTIC News."
"The world's going to hell." **SuPeRfUcKiNgStAr** says as she gets to her feet and walks into the kitchen.
"What're you talking about, retard?" Her sister asks.
"Nothing, bitch. Forget it."
One minute and twenty seconds later **SuPeRfUcKiNgStAr** takes her reheated burrito into her room.
"One unread text message." Her phone says. She avoids reading it for a while, for reasons unknown. She had nothing else to do, I suppose she just wanted to be a bitch.
Twenty minutes later she picks up her phone to read the text and instantly drops it when she reads the text.
"I never wanted to dance..."
The text was from [Jestro].
Barney: Ted, tonight we're gonna go out. We're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be *legendary*. Phone-five!
[slaps cell-phone]
Barney: You didn't phone-five, did you?
[pause]
Barney: I know when you don't phone-five, Ted.
"Hahahahaha!" 김재민 laughs. "I fuckin' love this show!" He screams to himself as he sits on his couch, alone.
Then his sister emerged from the upstairs balcony, she peeked her head over and shouted down.
"Be quite, I have school in the morning." Then she disappeared into the darkness.
Then his mother appeared from the same spot and shouted down.
"Benjia, you need to be quiet, Julie has school in the morning."
"Mom, I'm not even being loud!" He shouts back.
"Okay, but be quiet, Julie has school in the morning."
"Yeah, you already said that." He shouts back. Then she too disappears into the darkness leaving 김재민 alone once again.
"Fuck!" He says to himself and looks down at his phone. Nothing.
Then he looks back at his TV, he watches the show, but now he's in a sour mood because of his mom and sister. The show goes black for a second [for a commercial break, but since it's a DVD it just goes black] . In that second he sees, in the reflection of the TV himself, sitting on the couch. Then he jumps out of his skin when he also sees a reflection of [Jestro] sitting next to him. He looks at the couch. Nothing. He runs to the bathroom because he may have shat his pants.
C41212105 gets off work from Trader Hoes. He walks to his car, unlocks it, and gets inside. He turns the car on and DJ Machete plays "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie. C41212105 enjoys this song and decides to start driving very fast and dangerously through the streets of Pompey. C41212105 decides to get even more crazy, and starts driving on the opposite side of the road.
"I'm alive!" He screams loudly as he zig-zags in between oncoming traffic. A whiz of blaring car horns fly past his ears. Then he sees someone walk across the street. He slams his hand on his horn, to alert the pedestrian to get the fuck out of the way.
The figure turns to face C41212105 and in an instant he realizes who it is, just as I'm sure you do too.
It's [Jestro] standing there with his suit fully wrapped around his body. C41212105 slams on his brakes and swerves to a skidding stop. He sets his head down against the top of his steering wheel for a few seconds trying to catch his breath and slow his heart rate down. He looks back the the road and doesn't see [Jestro] anywhere.
"What the fuck? Did someone put something in those brownies I had for lunch?" He says aloud. Then he got on his cell phone and called Ω.
"Hey, what do you want, Sailor?" Ω asked.
"Dude, I'm fucking tripping balls right now!" C41212105 screams into his bluetooth.
"Whoa calm down, bitch-boy before I kick your ass." Ω says calmly.
"You couldn't kick my ass, Ω. I've been working out." C41212105 says.
"Yeah, so what did you want?"
"Meet me at the LAN center in thirty, kay?" C41212105 asks.
"Fine, and there I'm kicking your ass." Ω says.
"You couldn't kick my ass if it fell on your foot." C41212105 says with a chuckle.
"I'd rather die than live in a world where I can't kick your ass." Ω says as he hangs up the phone.
-Sir Jestro
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