Alien Vs. Predator Vs. Zombies

Deep in the cold recesses of space, a single Yautjan ship flies its way home. After a long, seventeen year bounty hunting expedition the crew of eight get one last mission, a distress call from a forgotten planet. This is something the Yautja don't normally do, but when one of their own ships goes down in a barren planet with message of Xenomorphs, they make an exception.
Upon their entrance to the planet's atmosphere they noticed several larger pillars, each resembling an hourglass. The tops of the pillars, which extended off of the planet were symmetrical of the bases. The narrow section of the pillars [which were built through the atmosphere] were far narrower than the rest to allow a release of stress to the rest of the structure.
These pillars were scattered all across the surface of the planet, which caused the planet to resemble a giant flail.
They landed and began patrolling the nearby area. First they secured the area around their ship, then they headed to the base of one of the pillars they landed next to. They searched high and low for any forms of life in the structure, and found none. The Sergeant, Hammerhead, examined his sonar in hopes to find the source of the distress beacon.
Checking.
Checking.
Checking.
2,000 Km to your south.
Regroup.
But one of the fuckers in his squad had to go and act a damn fool and set off something inside of the structure.
A wailing of sirens flooded the entire planet, their ear splitting droning sent the squad into the structure. Hammerhead ran up to Mongoose and bitched slapped him.
"Thanks a lot, dick shit." Is basically what he said.
Then TRex came running in to inform Hammerhead of what was going on outside. The tips of the pillars began expanding which covered the entire planet like an outer shell.
CAGE MATCH OF DEATH!!!!
That's when the squad ran outside to find a whole army of Xenomorphs. That's when Hammerhead bitched slapped Mongoose again as to say,
"This is all your fault, fucker!"
Then they saw to their rear, an entire army of undead humans.
Parrot cannons!
Spears!
Tails whips!
Gnawing teeth!
Bitches getting fucked up!
Mongooses fucking everything up!
Predator self destruction devices located on their arms.
"Mother fuckin' Mongoose." Said Hammerhead as he blew up everyone's ass!

-Sir Jestro